satisfaction - n. an act of satisfying; fulfillment; gratification
Psht. Can't get none of that.
I am officially addicted to this damn blog. Fuck! This your fault, Maria.
So I was thinking about my "love life" and I had the only moment of clarity. Well I observe the actions of other people, not because I have no life. lol. Rather because I want to observe how people act and react towards certain situations, so that when I'm in that certain situation I have an idea of what to do. Anyway, I never understood why people have an opinion on relationships based on one or several bad relationships from the past. People generalize too much. It's not like the person that lied and/or cheated on you is going to come back and haunt you in every single relationship. And everyone is not the same so your in for something different every time. If you get with the same kinda person everytime and it never works out, maybe you should change what you are lookin for. I don't think you need to be a rocket scientist to know that much. There's just a whole lotta things that people in their teenage years disregard or are plain oblivious to. But that's the nature of teen relations(hips). Lust and irresponsbility. That's why I'm kinda glad I'm bout to hit 18, cuz I always found that dating older girls is less stress/drama related. That's another thing. I always find it funny when someone has an about me and their list of dislikes looks like "I dont like haters, fakes, liars, drama, gossip, etc." I laugh cuz I think "Have they actually met people who LIKE that shit?" NOONE likes that shit. That's like saying "I don't enjoy cancer, herpes, mass genocide, bigotry, and heart attacks." Funny thing is that it is usually the haters, fakers, liars, dramaqueens, and gossips who post that shit. meh. Well, I guess what I really realized is it's true what the older people say. They looked back when they was our age and say to themselves, "Damn, I did some dumb shit." or "Wow, the shit we did back then made no sense." I'm already starting to do that. Whatever. Relationships are a beautiful thing if, and only if, the two parties are mature about it. That was the basic realization. Problem I keep finding little girls and I need a woman. And I don't mean age, I mean mentality.
I don't really discriminate age. First off because noone CHOSE when they wanted to be born and second because I always hung out with people who were older than me. Even as a young dude in the Bronx. I was 11 years old hangin out with high schoolers and shit. And that's just how it was on the block. Everyone was cool with everyone. The only niggas that beefed was the niggas that got dealt with quick. And the only niggas that got killed was the niggas that sparked shit up. So with that being in effect, there wasnt much killing or fighting. Shit was still rough, but we went through life together. Just vibing on the block, some hustlin, some just parlayin, some just enjoyin the company of other people in the struggle. Thats why I love Nas' music, cuz it speaks directly to that lifestyle and I think its because of that that I can relate to it so much. His music is focused on the observation of the thug life rather than the celebration of it. He talk about what people go through in the ghetto and what the stuggle is like. Of course it has that microphone commanding flow that he is known for. But me personally, I can relate to his music more than any other artists music.
It's songs like this that remind me of days on the old block. Man I miss them niggas. Angel, Louis, Anthony, Julian, Orville, David, Ray, Edison, Flakito and Bam of course. Jordan and "Negro", I remember when we got drunk and crashed the carnival. I went down the giant slde with my ass hangin out. White boy Joey, his parents smoked more weed than me, and R.I.P. Andy. Me and that nigga was always beefin but an early death is something that noone deserves. Ferno, Flame, Weezy, the Bloods on the corner whose names I could never remember. The nigga who we smoked blunts on the roof with. Deshawn, Brian, Kenny, and all them M.S. 45 niggas. Man, I feel homesick after naming all these niggas.
Had to get the video cause imeem STILL has that 30 second bullshit.
But listen to these lyrics, it reminds me of back in my New York days. "Straight up shit is real and anyday can be your last in the jungle. Get murdered on the humble, guns'll blast, niggaz tumble."/"Cold be walkin with a bop and my hat turned back. Love committin sins and my friends sell crack.......cause life ain't shit but stress, fake niggaz, and crab stunts. So I guzzle my Hennesey while pullin on mad blunts."
"I used to wake up every mornin, see my crew on the block. Every day's a different plan that had us runnin from cops. If it wasn't hangin out in front of cocaine spots. We was at the candy factory, breakin the locks." I actually did that. lmao
"The corners is the hot spot, full of mad criminals who don't care, guzzlin beers, we all stare at the out-of-towners, (Ay, yo, yo, who that?) They better break North before we get the four pounders, and take their face off."
That was also true. If you wasnt from around that area, you needed to keep your nose outta shit cuz the hood was always watching for niggaz that sparked shit up. All in all it was a family. No trouble at all and the only time there was violence was when niggas who wanted to start trouble came around.
Man, this was unorganized thoughts in typing form. I just typed whatever came to mind. And thats just what I happened to be thinkin about. Fuck it. Xd
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