and another one...

I caught a big-boy charge. =[ It was the day after my birthday. I got happy and went and smoked a half ounce in less than 24 hours. We got caught with a little bit left.




My consience is KILLING ME. I was doing so good. My mom cried her heart out. The people that were supporting me and keeping me in a positive direction felt that I let them down and some are even cutting themselves off from me. And I think to myself, "That is so cold. Don't they know how much I am suffering right now?" But I suppose I deserve it. That's how depressed I've been. I've stayed in the house all day since then. Started smoking cigarettes, again. Yuck!!! But I've been driven to it. And I'm scared to go outside again. Scared of temptation. Man, she's a bitch. Been inside all day doing online school, battling, and watching daytime television. Sine my hire date has been pushed up to August 4th due to incarceration, Law & Order, Scrubs, and The Office are great shows that have entertained me. But yeah. I'm trying to move on from this. Thinking positive thoughts helps, so I've been told. It's crazy how she's the only one that notices me suffering from this. Everyone else looks at me with dissapointment but act as if I wanted to dissappoint them. She is the ONLY one that has tried to comfort me. I'm sure Amy would too but we haven't really talked about it. She wants me to call and I think it will help. No matter what goes on in this world, her words always make me feel better about stuff. I have no idea why. Maybe its her tone or what she says, but she makes things not seem so bad.


I called her, you know Ms. uhmm yeah, while I was locked up. I could only remember a limited amount of numbers and hers was the only one that picked up. It was good to hear her voice while in there. She's probably reading this and knows who she is, but fuck it, how I feel is how I feel. She helped me out when I needed it. Even though my mom had already found out somehow, she delivered the message. Thanks.


I recently found out that I have multiple fans. They like reading my stuff, mostly when I'm talking about things that don't really involve myself. Like when I speak on things in general. And they like my lyrics/poetry. So Imma give em what they want. This was a poem I had to do for online class. I had to write it as if I was part of Anne Bradstreets book "The Scarlet Letter". It's about adultery and lust and all that jazz. Not really my best content but I tried to emphasize the rhyme scheme. Enjoy.

When I respond, my word is bond

sins can be heard along the verbs of songs

Because adultery

are the results of weak,

doesn’t take much to see that love is free

But those oppose,

up shows to pose

and want to bruise minds like blows to nose

But to ere is human, yet despair is ruthless

and lying mouths are impaired till toothless

To hear the truth is

weird, but truth is

Hester Prynne, confessed to sin and she rued it

But one can’t see

that some can’t be

with just one man, see

But is this one man seen?

No, none can seem too blunt and bleek

It seems her heart indefinitely hunts and seeks

I agree. WTF happened to jams that made you feel good?

But I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool, cool

And I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that, I'm chill, chill

Blink..blink..blink..blink..blink..blink..blink....

Think..think..think..think..think..think..think...

I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace like that, I'm peace, peace

Check it out man

I groove like that

I'm smooth like that

I jive like that

I roll like that

Yeah I'm thick like that

I stack like that

I'm down like that

I'm black like that

Well yo I funk like that

I'm fat like that

I'm in like that

Cause I swing like that

We jazz like that

We freak like that

We zoom like that

We out...we out...

Sorry. I get into that song.

I've lived to see 18...thank god/allah/buddha/whoever you are..

I'm 18 and I'm at home putting my masterplan together. lol

when these seasons pass, we can breathe at last

with each of our feet swinging over seas of ash

the seed sees it's trees seize a breeze

we've received after it leaves the leaves

who needs to be mad tense; perceived as advent

since the future's bleak and past tense is absent..

your beauty must truely be an anomaly

pure philosophy, possible anemology..

illogicaly violatile thoughts swallow me-

this colossal grief causes an awful nostril bleed

fate fades; then less rays are raised

in a haze of grey shade; decades decay..

wish she would kiss me with disregard

but it's the dark which gets hearts ripped apart

even so, this demon's soul was renewed

everything erodes over time except my love for you

This piece is untitled. It was a topical match on those forums I be on. The topic was the picture. Alot of thought was actually put into this one. Made alot of 'internet thugs' give some emotional feed. So I can say that I am truely proud of this one...

fuck livin' [negative] 'cause [positivity] spreads faster.

I FINNALLY GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!

Yeah man. This changes alot. They drug test so I've stopped smokin' weed. Haven't smoked in almost a week. There's a downside to that though. I've been stayin' inside, 'cause I know if I go outside then Imma smoke. Everyone I know out here smokes and if I'm around them...temptation is a bitch. Well the interview is for Westgate resorts, booking tours or some shit like that. Fuck you, pay me...like nasty hookers!! lol Scratch that. I aint quoting Weezy ever again. Quoting him is like sex and drug, eveybody's doing it. smh


Yo yo yo. I'm turnin' 18 on the 18th. Growin' up sux. But my aunty getting me a bottle of Patron and I'm debating on wether going to the club or renting a hotel room and throwing a party there. Problem with that is I dont wanna bring random ass people. I just want my peoples there. The problem problem is..everyone I know is different in character so it's gonna be pretty lame, I think. I'm thinkin' if I do that then I'm gonn have to invite everyone. BUT B.Y.O.B.!!!! LMAOOO

Download Mixtape Provided by DatPiff.com

Yes. Hip-Hop is still breathing. Nas returned to the style and level of rap he was on when he made "Illmatic". This is definitely his comeback album. He hinted a little comeback when he made "Hip Hop Is Dead", but this is a breakthrough. Nas Escobar has turned back into Nasty Nas. The timeline track is one of my favorites. It goes through all of his classics and EVERY "Illmatic" song. Hero is the first single off of it. And Black President is a song inspired by Barack Obama speaking about the current election.


I haven't looked into it, but I am going to vote for Obama for Ms. Unr...err my number one bloggie fan. =]

let's get stoned like medusa baby...

My weekly agenda:


Smoke.
Smoke.
Smoke.
Smoke.
Slow down my smoking.
Get lost in Kissimmee.
Start smoking again.
Smoke some more.
Getting a job.



Hancock blowed but Hulk was the shit. Love Guru made me laugh so hard...then again, I was high. =[


I've been spending my time battling online. After winning those 5 straight battles, I lost 5 straight. Maybe its the reef? Got a championship battle to redeem myself though.


I've realized that I'm not the best known person because I choose to be that way. I wont talk to people I've just met unless something tells me I should. If they start a conversation, I'll talk back. But besides that, I'm the quiet guy in a room full of people. I like to observe others first. You never know when your going to need that information. Some shit goes down and they try to accuse me, I know who was around me to clear my name, wether they know me or not. But I observe everything and everyone. Sometimes it could be wordless moments that say the most. Two days ago, I was hangin out in my hood with some old smokin buddies, (Some dreadhead that knows how to navigate.) and we went to a gazeebo that most people smoke at. I saw three hispanic dudes who look closely affiliated to the crown...er crowd I used to be around. They were smoking so it wouldn't have been appropriate to bring it up. Same went for me cuz I was already high, but on point. Now it may sound like me being paranoid, but I have several reasons for thinking so. First, there has been a pattern of them going after some of the cats that have been in since back when. Second, we can identify eachother wether the other has colors or not, not to mention they are the only group of people I'm extremely popular with. Third, I had the only staredown with one of 'em. I think he knew who I was and vice versa. They smoked and I was just sitting there observing. They kept their right over left and everything was on the left side. (folds, jewelry, hats, headband) And the one that stared me down...lol...had black and yellow on!!


Oh and the "rey" that hates me the most lives in Orlando. He knows where I live but I dont know where he is located at.


So now I'm being watched in my own hood? lmao


Dont stop there though. I got contacted unexpectedly by the moon. He was acting like everythin was all good. But instead of saying "bruddah" like he usually did, he called me his "nigga". Something aint right. Well he made it clear that they dont want him talkin to me, but why does he get in touch with me now of all times? Oh and the bitch I said can "act" is acting like she wanna fuck with me. She doesn't, I can tell. She always hits me up like "Hey, boo." and she even told me she loves me but I doubt that. She is trying to set me up or send me to do something. A vibe tells me this, oh and she keeps askin me mad information. Like where my mom works at??? Get the fuck out of here. Try harder. There's more detail to it, but I dont think anyone will get it.


Seems like my past is haunting me. Or my split personality is having an identity crisis. Skitsofrenic Vs. Hector. Skit ain't going down without a fight. Here was his last attempt to turn the tables.


Last weekend was Stylistic's 21st birthday. So I'm like,"Fuck that, Imma go smoke with him." My plan was to spend the night over there. Mind you, he lives a county over in Kissimmee. Well I stayed the first night. The second night was different. I was supposed to go home that night but I was left hangin. Just wanderin the streets like I used to. Hangin and smokin with this one and that one. Like my old days. I used to just drift aimlessly into the streets. Like a leaf in the wind, I had no control of where I was goin, I just went. I relived it for one night. And I felt like Skit again.

'
P.S. Hip-hop is still alive. Due to Nas's "Nigger Tape" and Royce Da 5'9's "Bar Exam 3".