what now?

defined

vengeance - n. infliction of injury, harm, humiliation, or the like, on a person by another who has been harmed by that person; violent revenge

No happiness in my life yet. Patiently waiting till the 12th. Everytime my mind has a mental catastrophe, I start looking forward to Mardi Gras. Amy is going and that makes me smile because I get to talk to her. She gives good advice. I mean anyone can give me the same advice, but when she says it, the world just seems like a better place for some reason. Haven't talked to her since that thing happened though. That thing has caused alot of pain. I could get back at them. But it would mean going against alot of my own principles. So at the moment, that thought is on hold. Probably won't go into motion which is a first for me, but meh. I'm still living, and life still has some beauty.

Talked to my brother Flako and Bam from New York. Flako is fuckin up, and it's funny becuz he was always the one that set the example. Now me and Bam are on our grind and Flako can't even come home. Life is funny. If I ever become famous, my merchandise is going to have that on it. Life is funny. Noone really gets that until they live a little. Then one day it just clicks in their mind. "Ah, I see what he meant." That's how it happened to me. A man, or counselor, I was meeting with told me exactly that. Now this is a guy who has been there done that. Then it hit me. I have to have been there done that. I've only done a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I think I'm beginning to truly see what he meant. Like when I was on the hospital bed and I saw my mom there, I started crying. Then I started laughing. Cuz all I could hear was that man's voice telling me,"Life is funny." And I remembered. I had lived a little...more, so it made me laugh, while sprawled out on a hospital bed.

Come to think of it. They should've killed me. Cuz I don't walk away with my tail between my legs. But it's a different kind of warfare. More diplomatic. So I will rub my bruises and let the gift of gab give presents. I love my ability to speak.

I wanted to put a video of Red Bull BC One breakdance competition, but things aren't going my way. Well I've officially added breakdancing to my list of possible future careers after watching these guys. Here's a sample of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq7SwTJChnI

Rahzell is in it and he does my favorite betbox performance of his. The "If Your Mother Only Knew" beat and chorus at the same time beatboxing. He has to be the best beatboxer EVER!!!!